Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Will County Is Now Will Colony

Imagine what it must have been like living in the American Colonies in the late 1700’s.  The people were governed by a king who didn’t understand or live in the area.  The people were taxed without representation from political leaders who didn’t live in the area either.  The local politicians were merely figureheads who owed their loyalty to the king -- not to the people of the colony.  As a child, I often wondered what it was like to live under that rule.  Now I don’t have to wonder anymore.  I live in “Will Colony.”

Consider the facts.  The “King”, Michael Madigan, controls the state.  He has reigned for most of the last 30 years.  He even has a successor lined up in daughter Lisa.  With the new census, the king drew a new map.  He drew lines just like British Kings did when dividing the colonies.  King Madigan must really like the Royal Jackson lineage, because Prince Jesse Jackson Jr. was given a nice piece of Will Colony.  Beside presiding over a swath of precious farmland, Prince Jackson will be ruling over the new airport.  Prince Lapinski, and Prince Bobby Rush were also given big pieces of Will Colony.  But these leaders know that they are not to be loyal to the subjects of Will Colony, they serve King Madigan and the Chicago / Cook County Political Machine.

Sure, Will Colony has its own Royalty.  The Walsh’s, Wilhelmi’s and McGuire’s are amongst them.  With one of those names, you are almost guaranteed to be the Duke of something.  But these people are loyal to the Crown of Madigan.  When the King needs a 67% tax increase, the locals fall in line.  Not one Will County Democrat voted against the bill.  When half of Will Colony is given to Chicago Princes, the locals knew they best not make a fuss.  They all supported it.  Otherwise, there might be a beheading!

Since I live in Will Colony, my tax dollars get to support the Chicago Transit Authority.  In Will Colony our property taxes pay for the vast majority of the local school funding.  Chicago gets a majority of its funding from its downstate Colonies and the Feds.  When the King over-taxes the evil businesses in the city, he uses state money to buy them off and prevent them from moving to a “free state”.

The King wasn’t as aggressive in the colonies as he used to be.  Things have slowly changed.  You see, King Madigan’s corrupt leadership has lead to difficulties in the Kingdom of Chicago.  Unemployment is high.  Even with the high taxes, funding for social services is being cut.  The state’s credit ratings have been cut severely and the debt is sky high.  Over 200,000 people moved out of the Kingdom during the last decade.  The King now needs colony resources more than ever.  In fact, the massive debt that the King has accumulated over the last decade is more than he can handle.  He is considering dumping that debt onto the colonies.

It is time for the people of Will Colony to stand against the King.  It is time for Will County leaders to Declare Independence from the “Chicago Way.”



Paid for by The Friends of Mark Batinick

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